Wiping away the tears

As predicted, it was a long, busy September for our family, and although getting up early and taking my son to school since kindergarten started in mid-September has been somewhat of an emotional rollercoaster, it all felt worthwhile when we sat down at the kitchen table to do his homework for the very first time last week.

That morning was much like the previous school mornings for my five-year-old. He woke up early, and in a fairly good mood. He ate his Lucky Charms cereal and headed to school. I met him at school since it was his first time riding the bus, and I brought him to his classroom.

He found his own locker, but as soon as he started unpacking his school bag and putting on his indoor shoes, the tears started to flow. I bent down close to him, and just like the week before, assured him that he would have a good day at school and that if he kept crying, mommy would start crying too, and we didn’t want that to happen.

He quickly wiped away the tears, obviously self-conscious, and with still red and slightly swollen eyes, he slowly walked into his classroom.

When I went to pick him up from school, the teachers continued to assure me that Gavin had a great day at school despite the morning tears, and although he wouldn’t talk much about what he did all day, I realized after supper that night that despite the tears, my baby is truly growing up.

As we sat down at the table after a busy day of school, karate, supper and leftover birthday cake, we proceeded to do the homework that was in Gavin’s school bag. When we got to the counting page, he completely amazed me, counting up to six in French (something I probably should have taught him earlier but hadn’t) and as we finished up the worksheet, he proudly looked at me and said, “Mom, that was pretty easy.”

He then took out the scissors, picked them up the right way (something I had unsuccessfully attempted to teach him in the past) and cut the paper along the lines. He properly arranged the cut-up pieces on a new sheet of paper, with little help from me, and copied his name on the back of the page much more neatly than he has in the past.

I realized then that through the tears (both Gavin’s and my own), he is learning and it is probably time for mommy and daddy to back off a little bit. We’ve already given him the best start he could have by loving and guiding him during his first five years of life, and seeing the tears on his cheeks in the morning should only reassure me that we have at least been successful at teaching him to be loving and considerate little person.

It totally breaks my heart to see him cry, but I guess mommy also needs to toughen up. The reason he cries has nothing to do with me anyway, according to him, but because he simply misses his daddy so much.