Happy with my choice
Tuesday, Feb 18, 2014 11:15 am
Although this is based solely on observation, it seems that lately there has been something of a baby-boom going on in St. Paul. Maybe it’s because I’m now in my late 20s and that seems to be the prime time to be having babies, although at this point many of the people I know and went to high school with are on their second, third, or fourth child.
The number of children a couple decides to have is often a contentious issue, but contentious not for the couple having the children, rather everyone else around them seems to feel they can have a say in the number of little people that couple decides to bring into the world.
I’ve recently heard a number of comments from people I know regarding the questions and reactions they receive about the number of children they have, or don’t have. It really doesn’t matter if they have one, two, or six children, it seems like people always need to put in their two-cents on the issue.
Personally, I have two children, and I’m quite happy with that. My husband and I have decided that because of his medical conditions, and other personal reasons, that having two beautiful healthy boys is quite fine. We feel blessed and lucky, especially given my husband’s sometimes unstable health.
I’ve been asked a few times (the first I think was while I was still pregnant with my second son) why we wouldn’t try for a girl. No matter what my response is to that question, it really shouldn’t matter to whoever is asking, our reasons are our own, and having grown up with three brothers and no sisters, I’m quite alright with toy trucks, sandboxes, and Lego, rather than dolls, glitter, and tiaras.
Plus, this way I will always remain as princess of our household (I’m not allowed to claim the throne as queen since my own mom once told me I could be the princess as long as I wanted, but she would always be the queen).
And although I have chosen to only have two children, I completely appreciate and commend families who choose to responsibly have as many more children than that. I grew up in a family of four kids, and having numerous siblings is a great thing. To this day, I can’t stand being in a house alone and I have never once lived completely on my own. I like having people around me and I suppose filling my house with even more children would be convenient.
But, having kids is a pretty huge life decision, and usually requires a little more thought and consideration of a couple’s beliefs and experiences. Everyone faces challenges, responds to challenges differently, and decides how to move forward in life in different manners. And for couples who chose to have one child, or no children, that choice is their own.
Although I’m still very much a rookie, in the six years I’ve been a mother, I’ve noticed that young moms often need to give each other a little more credit and far less judgement. I remember going back to work after my first maternity leave and feeling judged by some of the stay-at-home moms I knew. Over the years, I’ve learned to ignore what people may or may not be thinking, because even if they are thinking or judging me, it really doesn’t matter.
What matters is that when I get home after work, I have the life and family I chose to have. And I’m pretty satisfied with what I’ve chosen.