I never really appreciated what it was to be a grandparent until I had children of my own. I saw my own grandparents infrequently growing up, as they lived in India, and the concept of having loving, caring older relatives that would bake cookies, read stories and slip you a $20 with every visit was just that, a distant concept.
Once I had children of my own, I was totally caught off guard by how captivated the grandparents were by them. My mother, who I never remember being a touchy-feely type, was suddenly a melting pot of goo over our family’s latest additions. My dad didn’t seem to know how to relate to them as non-verbal babies, but showed affection in his own ways, whistling the same three notes at each of them.
And my in-laws, who made trips to see them from their home in Wales, took pictures of themselves holding tiny hands and feet, storing up memories for the next time they would see the kids.
Now that I understand that grandparent-grandchild bond, I can’t help feel envious of the families I see here, where aunts, uncles, cousins and yes, grandparents, live so close to one another and can see each other often.
My father-in-law recently felt a driving need to visit us in St. Paul, and the kids were wild with anticipation of his arrival. They made him pictures, decorated his room with photos and put out a pair of slippers and sailing magazines, and stayed up on the night he arrived to welcome him to Canada.
The wonderful thing about connecting with old friends and family is the joy of anticipating and experiencing the reunion. Over the two weeks of his visit, the kids did some gardening with their grandfather, took him to the Elk Point show and shine, and made him read them countless stories or snuggled on the couch watching DVDs. In a blink of an eye, it seemed the visit was near its end.
While I was stumped on thinking of a suitable gift to send home for him and my mother-in-law, my daughter came up with her own idea: to write a heart-felt letter that was far better than anything I could have bought. She began by proposing that she had the four best grandparents in the world.
“I know you live across the world and stuff, but that doesn’t mean we don’t stay in touch. I love you guys like you live in my house! And I could never ask for more than someone to hug or talk to when you feel like it (even though parents can do that too). I feel you two are always there for me when I need it, just like all families are. From the heart, Mina Whitfield.”
It was a proud moment for me, to see that she knows and could express so well that the strong relationships aren’t about quantity, but about quality; that when we are together, we will treasure and appreciate making shared memories; that through good and bad, through both fire and ice, no matter the distances of space and time, that family members who love you will always be behind you, beside you, and within you.
