In 1964, Kitty Genovese was stabbed in the streets of New York. Several people heard the attack but few called the police, or responded to her calls for help, in an infamous case. Eventually, a 70-year-old woman came out and cradled Genovese until help arrived, but Genovese died on way to the hospital.
Social psychologists dub this the bystander effect – that paradoxically, people are less likely to come to the aid of a stranger when there are more witnesses, because of a “diffusion of responsibility” – or thinking that someone else may help. Also at play is social influence – the effect of other people on your own behavior, or the mindset that, ‘Nobody else is helping, I shouldn’t get involved either.’
Last week, two incidents reported on the news brought Genovese’s case to my mind: one, of a 18-year-old girl from Ohio on trial for charges stemming from an incident where she filmed the rape of her friend on Periscope, an app that allows users to live stream video. The Crown suggested the girl did not come to the aid of her friend, because she was too busy collecting ‘likes’ for her video.
The second case was a 16-year-old girl who was beaten to death in her high school washroom in Delaware, reportedly over a dispute over a boy. Reports suggest that several people watched the attack, but did not intervene, with some witnesses claiming students filmed the attack with their cell phones.
Cue the collective outrage – “The world is going to the dogs!”; “People are monsters, no one cares any more!”
As Genovese’s case demonstrates, humans haven’t changed that much. But the digital age has certainly made human failings more obvious.
Technology such as role-playing video games or cell phones have, at times, made for an extra layer of removal from situations. It’s like the age old adage, “If a tree falls in the forest and you don’t take a selfie on the stump, did it really happen?”
While the bystander effect is totally human, there are a couple of ways that I think we combat this effect at home; firstly, by encouraging our children to speak up or intervene when they see something happening that puts their friends in danger or at risk of getting hurt. They have to learn the difference between tattle-telling and being a responsible human, that it’s not always about being popular or one of the crowd, but about using their own minds and hearts to make the best decisions.
The second part of this is encouraging our kids to be aware of the world beyond their cell phones, to be actively engaged with life around them.
When I told my husband about how the kids and I took a horseback ride by the sea, his first question was, “Did you take a picture?” When I told him no, he was exasperated with my cell phone inadequacy. But there are several times where I want to unplug and be fully present and aware of what’s around me. I want my kids to be able to do that too.
On that same beach ride, we saw an injured stork, unable to move. A gentleman with a kind heart picked it up, cradled it, and asked the lifeguard if there was any way to get it help. Even when the lifeguard told him it was unlikely there was anything to be done, the gentleman took the bird to the water so it could get a drink.
I’m really glad my children saw that man’s example. I hope they learned from him that all we can ever do is to keep our eyes open for opportunities to help others, that we may not be able to solve the world’s problems but that we can try, that the responsibility doesn’t lie with someone else – it lies with you.
